Japanese people expect visitors from overseas to be polite and respectful (and not too loud), but still to be themselves. However, there are a few basic customs that should be followed.
Most Japanese have studied English, but not conversational English. They are generally shy, however, and many are perfectionists, so if you ask them if they speak English they usually will say no. It is best not to ask a Japanese person if he or she speaks English—just state your question clearly, in a friendly manner, and you usually will get an understandable reply. Preface your question by saying "Excuse me" (the Japanese translation is "Sumimasen," pronounced Soo-MEE-mah-sen), because directness may be perceived as rude or intimidating. Knowing a few simple Japanese terms and phrases can greatly enhance your interaction with the locals. A simple "thank you" (Arigatou, pronounced A-rig-a-tow) will go a long way toward making a good impression in any situation.
Although handshakes are becoming more common, especially with foreigners, the Japanese prefer bowing from the waist to shaking hands. This is not an obsequious gesture, but rather a greeting that acknowledges respect. There are many subtleties to bowing, but the Japanese don't expect a short-term visitor to get it exactly right. For a foreigner, a short bow of the head is all that's expected.
It is not customary to touch people on the arm or shoulder, even those you know well.
When addressing someone, do so by the last name followed by the honorific -san. If speaking in English, it is also acceptable to use Mr., Mrs., Ms. or Miss. Addressing someone by their first name should be done only with friends or very close associates, and even in this situation it is polite to add a -san at the end.
Black ties are reserved for funerals. White ties are for traditional weddings.
Business cards are exchanged often when people meet in nonsocial settings. Visitors to Japan should carry plenty of business cards to reciprocate on the many occasions when people you meet pass theirs to you. This is a pleasant option for leisure travelers and essential if you are doing business in Japan. Your business card shows your company position—it validates you. There is much to the Japanese card-giving ritual but, most importantly, always treat the other person's business card with importance and respect. Accept it with two hands. Examine it for a few moments after it is received and, if you're seated, place it on the table in front of you. Never write on the card while the card-giver is present, and don't put the card away until after the meeting is over.
Always remove your shoes when entering a Japanese home. If you're giving a gift to a business associate, do so at the end of the meeting. If you're giving a gift to someone at home, do so when you first arrive. Gifts should be properly wrapped at the establishment where they are purchased.
There are some bad-luck customs that should be noted: Never give four of anything (the number signifies death); never give white carnations, which are used only for funerals (it's best to avoid flowers altogether—candy, especially if it is from your own country, is a better choice); and when eating with chopsticks, never use them to pass food between two people (the only occasion chopsticks are used this way is when a family removes the charred bones of a loved one from a crematorium).
If you're in Tokyo on business and need to entertain local contacts, your best bets are the hotel bars. We suggest that you purchase a bottle in the hotel bar—about ¥20,000-¥25,000 for any good whiskey. The price includes all setups and snacks, and having your name on a bottle shows that you understand local customs.
